How to Serve a Flaming Bird, c. 1465

Musée du Petit-Palais L.Dut.456, f. 86v (15th c.)

How to Dress a Peacock With All Its Feathers, So That When Cooked, It Appears To Be Alive and Spews Fire From Its Beak

     How to dress a peacock so that it appears to be alive: first, the peacock should be killed by stabbing it in the head with a sharp knife or by slitting its throat, as you would with a baby goat. Then slice the body from the neck all the way to the tail, cutting only the skin and delicately skinning it so that you do not ruin the feathers or the skin. When you have finished skinning the body, turn the skin inside out, from the neck down. Make sure not to detach the head from the skin of the neck; and similarly, make sure that the legs remain attached to the skin of the thighs. Then dress it well for roasting, and stuff it with good things and good spices, and take some whole cloves and use them to stud the breast, and cook the bird slowly on a spit; and place a wet cloth around the neck so that the heat does not overly dry it; and wet the cloth repeatedly. When it is done cooking, remove form the spit and dress it up in its skin.
     Prepare an iron device attached to a cutting board that passes through the feet and legs of the peacock so that the iron cannot be seen and so that the peacock stands up on its feet with its head erect and seems to be alive; and arrange the tail nicely so that it forms its wheel.
     If you want it to spew fire from its beak, take a quarter ounce of camphor with a little cotton wool around it, and put it in the beak of the peacock, and also put a little aqua vitae or good, strong wine.    
     When you serve it, light the cotton wool and it will spew fire for a good bit. And to make it even more magnificent, when the peacock is done, you can decorate it with leaves of hammered gold and place the peacock's skin over the gold after you have smeared the inside of the skin with good spices.
     The same can be done with pheasants, cranes, geese, and other birds, as well as capons and pullets.

Martino da Como, Liber de arte coquinaria 

Haven't you always fantasized about the holiday turkey spewing fire in the direction of your least favorite relative? Time to turn those dreams into fiery, delicious, gold-plated reality.

How to Make a Flaming Drink, 1862

"Blue Blazer. (Use two large silver-plated mugs, with handles.) 

1 wine-glass of Scotch whiskey.
1 do. [ditto] boiling water. 

Put the whiskey and the boiling water in one mug, ignite the liquid with fire, and while blazing mix both ingredients by pouring them four or five times from one mug to the other, as represented in the cut. If well done this will have the appearance of a continued stream of liquid fire. Sweeten with one teaspoonful of pulverized white sugar, and serve in a small bar tumbler, with a piece of lemon peel.
...The novice in mixing this beverage should be careful not to scald himself. To become proficient in throwing the liquid from one mug to the other, it will be necessary to practise for some time with cold water." 

Jerry Thomas, How to Mix Drinks: Or, the Bon-Vivant's Companion (1862)

The splendid mustache is a prerequisite, but be careful not to ignite it while mixing this manly drink.

How to Light a Fire, 1628

"An easie way to procure Fire speedily. Take a round Glasse, and fill it with faire water, and set it against the Sun, so that it may stand fast: then take something that is very dry and hold it neere the Glasse (betweene the glasse and the Sun) and it will set the thing so holden on fire: which is very strange to behold, the rather, because Fire which is an hot and dry Element, is procured out of Water, which is a cold and moist Element."  

The Booke of Pretty Conceits (1628)

This is a great trick if you can get the angle just right. If not, though, you'll still end up with a nice glass of lukewarm water. Win!

How to Put Out a Fire, 12th century

Quick, the bran!
Madrid, Bib. Nac. Vitr. 26-2, f. 34vb (12th c.)

"If a fire blazes up, it should be extinguished with sand and bran. If it blazes up further, put on sand soaked in urine." 

Mappae clavicula (c. 12th century)

Safety first: be sure to have plenty of sand and bran on hand for your next barbecue or naval battle. (The urine soaking is for when things get really scary.)

How to Make a Rain of Fireworks, 1658

"To make the golden Rain, you must get store of Goose-quills, and cut them off next the feathers, and fill these quills hard with the same composition that is in your rocket, and must be put on the head of the Rocket with the open end downwards: If it were possible to put a thousand of these quills upon the head of a Rocket, it were a dainty sight to see how pleasantly they spread themselves in the air, and come down like streams of gold much like the falling down of Snow, especially if the wind be any thing high."

John White, "The School of Artificial Fire-Works," A Rich Cabinet (1658)

Fourth of July to-do list: grill hamburgers, make potato salad, obtain and manicure a thousand goose quills for dainty fireworks display.

How to Make a Dragon out of Fireworks, 1658

"How to make a Dragon, or the like, to run on the Line, spitting of fire. The body of the Dragon must be made either with Past-board, or with fine rods of wicker, being hollow, with a place in the belly to put in two Rockets... first set it at the eyes and mouth... then fire that Rocket which is placed with his mouth toward the tayl of the Dragon, which will make it seem to cast fire from thence till he come to the end of his motion; and then on a sudden (as a creature wounded with some accident) shall return with fire coming forth of his belly: This being well ordered, will give good content to the beholders of the same."

John White, "The School of Artificial Fire-Works," A Rich Cabinet (1658)

If this spectacle goes according to plan, a creature who appears to have been wounded in some accident will hurtle around spewing fire. If it goes awry, the fireworks technician will do the same. Either way the beholders will be amazed.