How to Spend July, 1612

Wenceslaus Hollar, Summer (1644)

"In July. Now arrives the Sommers Solstice, which with the fiery Dogge turnes the moisture of our bodies into parched exhalations, which we commonly call cholerick symptomes. And therefore shunne roast or broyled meates. Shunne salt meates, Bacon, and strong Beefe. Spare not to drinke Ptizans, Endive, or Succory waters, which coole the liver. Now you may boldly sleepe in the after noone, so that it be not presently after dinner, and not above an houre. Beware of bloud-letting, Physick, and venerous acts. When you are emptie, bath your selfe in colde water, for that recreates the animall powers."  

William Vaughan, Approved Directions for Health

It's July, and you know what that means: no grilled burgers, no sex, just cold baths and endive water.

On second thought, just boldly sleepe until August.

How to Have a Healthy Summer, 1656

June calendar page, 16th c.
J. Paul Getty Museum, MS Ludwig IX 16, f. 6r

 "The regiment for the time of Summer, June, July, and August. The shepheards in summer been clothed with light gowns and single, their shirts and sheets that they ly in be linnen, for of all cloath it is the coldest... and they eat light meats, as Chickens with veriuyce, young Hares, Rabbets, Lettise, Purselain, Melons, Gowrds, Cucumbers, Peares, Plumbs... They drink oft fresh water when they be thirsty, save only at dinner and supper time, and then they do drink feebl green Wine, single Beer, or small Ale. Also they keep them from over great travell, or over forcing themselves, for in this time is nothing grievouser than chafing. In this season they eschue the company of women, and they bathe them oft in cold water to asswage the heat of their bodies enforced by labours. Alway they have with them sugarcandy or other Sugar whereof they take little and often." 

The Shepheards Kalender

Ah, summer: season of cool linen, refreshing vegetables, and &#$*% chafing.

How to Stay Cool, 1723

"When the Sun is in its full Force, there is nothing more refreshing, or affords more Pleasure to Mankind, than cool Breezes, whether Natural or Artificial, which, provided they are moderate and constant, will invigorate the Spirits, and help the Health of the Body. Many of the Curious have already endeavour'd to purchase the pleasing Coolness I speak of, either in Grotto's or Pleasure-houses... The House, Fig. I. should, in my Opinion, be either Round or Polygonal... Fig II. Shews a Chain of Buckets, which may be continually kept working, by means of a Wheel cross the River, and will constantly supply the Cistern on the Top of the House; and the Water being once brought together in a Body, and deposited in a Bason above us, will by proper Pipes give us the Jets and Cascades we desire." 

Richard Bradley, A General Treatise of Husbandry and Gardening

Summer heat got you down? What you need is an indoor water park. Hello, pleasing Coolness!

How to Spend Your Summer, 1465

Walters Art Museum W.175, f. 8r

"Choler rises from May 8 to August 6. Then we should use cold and moist foods, work sparingly and use roast meat in small amounts as we often do before a meal. Drink should be diluted as much as possible so as to take away thirst and not let the body be hot, but we should totally avoid sex." 

Bartolomeo Platina, De honesta voluptate et valetudine

Recipe for a choleric summer: weak drinks, micro-barbecues, and celibacy.