How to Plan for Snow, 1600

British Library, Add. MS 35313, f. 1v (c. 1500)

"Now the daies are shortened, & the nights prolonged, winds are sharp, snow and suddaine inundations of waters arise, the earth is congealed with frost and ice, & all liuing creatures do quiuer with cold. Therefore a man must vse warme and drie meates: for the cheerefull vertues of the bodie are now weakened by the cold aire, and the naturall heate is driuen into the inward partes of the bodie, to comfort and maintaine the vitall spirites. All rost, baked, or fried meates be good; and so are boyled beefe and porke. Veale agreeth not, except it be well rosted. Also wardens, apples and peares may be vsed with wine or with salt for swelling, or with comfits for windinesse. Beware least the cold annoy your bodie. And aboue all things haue a regard to keepe your head, neck, and feete warm. To vse carnall copulation is expedient." 

William Vaughan, Naturall and Artificial Directions for Health

Snow day action plan: fried meat and chill. (But for the love of God, keep your socks on.)

How to Discuss Meat Carving, 1673

Unknown, The Chef (17th century)

"In cutting up all manner of small Birds, it is proper to say, Thigh them; as thigh that Woodcock, thigh that Pidgeon; but as to others say, Mince that Plover, Wing that Quail, and wing that Partridge, Allay that Pheasant, Untach that Curlew, Unjoint that Bittern, Disfigure that Peacock, Display that Crane, Dismember that Hern, Unbrace that Mallard, Frust that Chicken, Spoil that Hen, Sauce that Capon, Lift that Swan, Rear that Goose, Tire that Egg. As to the flesh of Beasts, Unlace that Coney, Break that Deer, and Leach that Brawn. For Fish; Chine that Salmon, String that Lamprey, Splat that Pike, Sauce that Plaice, and Sauce that Tench, Splay that Bream, Side that Haddock, Tusk that Barbel, Culpon that Trout; Transon that Eel, Tranch that Sturgeon, Tame that Crab, Barb that Lobster." 

Hannah Woolley, The Gentlewomans Companion (1673)

How many times have you found yourself at a loss for words while cutting up a bittern? Or unsure whether it's appropriate to disfigure a peacock? Now you can prepare dinner with confidence in your linguistic integrity.