How to Make Snail Bread, 1685

Joachim Camerarius, Symbolorum et Emblematum 4 (1604)

"A sort of Bread, of which a Mouthful can maintain a Man eight daies, without eating any thing else. Take a quantity of Snails, and make them void their sliminess; then dry and reduce them to fine Powder, of which make a Loaf, with a Mouthful of which a Man may be eight days without eating." 

Nicolas Lémery, Modern Curiosities of Art & Nature (1685)

One bite of this special bread and the idea of eating anything at all will nauseate you for eight days! The only problem: to learn how to make snails void their sliminess, you'll have to consult a different manual.

How to Be Plump, 1878

“Whatever may be the proper explanation, the presence of sweets very much aids in the fattening process… Activity of mind or body if excessive prevents fattening. Sufficient rest must be secured. Persons who want to get and keep plump, must give the system time to recruit. They should retire about 10 P. M. and enjoy sleep until 6 or 7 A. M.”

 T. C. Duncan, How to Be Plump (1878)

Physician, medical writer, and paunch-promoter T. C. Duncan scorns the thin as “restless and irritable in mind, rarely contented, never quiet” and offers advice for those aspiring to a fluffier form.