"How to walke on the Water. For to doe this, take two little Timbrels, and binde them under the soles of thy feete, and at a staves end fasten another; and with these you may walke on the water, unto the wonder of all such as shall see the same: if so be you often exercise the same with a certaine boldnesse and lightnesse of the body."
Thomas Hill, Naturall and Artificiall Conclusions (1649)
Good news: all it takes to walk on water is a couple of tambourines and a quick step! I'm off to practice this unto the wonder of all such as shall be swimming laps at the gym.
