How to Wear Platform Shoes, 1600

Vecellio, Habiti antichi e moderni (1598)

"Now in order to walk nicely, and to wear chopines properly on one's feet, so that they do not twist or go awry (for if one is ignorant of how to wear them, one may splinter them, or fall frequently, as has been and still is observed at parties and in church), it is better for [the lady] to raise the toe of the foot she moves first when she takes a step, for by raising it thus, she straightens the knee of that foot, and this extension keeps her body attractive and erect, besides which her chopine will not fall off that foot. Also by thus raising it she avoids sliding it along [the ground], nor does she make any unpleasant noise. Then she should put it down, and repeat the same thing with the other foot (which follows)... By walking this way, therefore, even if the lady's chopines are more than a handbreadth-and-a-half high, she will seem to be on chopines only three fingerbreadths high, and will be able to dance flourishes and galliard variations at a ball, as I have just shown the world this day." 

Fabritio Caroso, Nobilità di dame (1600)

Have you ever fallen on your face at a party in your six-inch platforms? Awkward! And it's even worse when it happens in church. Just practice this technique and you'll be strutting like a Venetian courtesan in no time.

How to Bust a Move, 1856

"Throw the body and stretch the right arm and right leg as far as possible to the right. Reverse the movement, and stretch them to the left, as at Fig. 54. Count one at the first movement, and so on to twelve." 

Catharine E. Beecher, Physiology and Calisthenics for Schools and Families (1856)

Have you been trying to figure out Travolta's moves since 1977? Surprisingly, the secret is contained in this nineteenth-century manual of calisthenics.

          

How to Save Your Soul at a Dance, 1530

"Never doze during the ball, please, my good companion: sleeping during the dance is like denying God."

Antonius Arena, Leges dansandi (1530)

Tie up your codpiece and wipe your face, because God is waiting for you to bust a move.

How to Impress Girls at a Dance, 1530

Fabritio Caroso, Il Ballarino (1581)

"Furthermore never fart when you are dancing; grit your teeth and compel your arse to hold back the fart... Do not have a dripping nose and do not dribble at the mouth. No woman desires a man with rabies. And refrain from spitting before the maidens, because that makes one sick and even revolts the stomach.  If you spit or blow your nose or sneeze, remember to turn your head away after the spasm; and remember not to wipe your nose with your fingers; do it properly with a white handkerchief. Do not eat either leeks or onions because they leave an unpleasant odour in the mouth."

 Antonius Arena, Leges dansandi (1530)

That Antonius Arena. He really understands the enigmatic desires of womankind not to dance with a leeky, slobbering fart-monster. 

How to Dress for Dancing, 1530

In case of dance emergency, pull cord.
Cesare Negri, Nuove inventioni di balli, 1604

"You must always be garbed to perfection and your codpiece must be well tied. We sometimes see codpieces slip to the ground during the basse dance so you must tie them well." 

Antonius Arena, Leges dansandi (1530)

Oh, that anxiety dream: you're getting your basse dance on with a shapely demoiselle when suddenly you realize that the codpiece on the floor is yours! Don't let it happen to you.