How to Get Rid of Stinging Insects, 1633

Francesco Stelluti, Persio (1630)
University of Oklahoma

"The Generall Method of Preventing, and Curing all venemous Stingings and Bitings. Prevention is onely two wayes: By having an eye to all places where they are likely to be abroad: And by driving them from the place of a mans habitation. All venomous Creatures are driven from the house by these fumes and washings following. Fume your roomes with the smoake of Harts-horne shavings, burnt in a chafing-dish or firepanne: or the shavings of sheepes hoofes: or the parings of old shooes. Wash the walls with the Gaule of any beast boyled a little in water." 

Stephen Bradwell, Helps for Suddain Accidents Endangering Life

Got an infestation? Time to light the old-shoe incense. (Simply whacking the insects with your old shoes is also effective.)

How to Make Pink Pancakes, 1786

"To make a pink-coloured Pancake. Boil a large beet root tender, and beat it fine in a marble mortar, then add the yolks of four eggs, two spoonfuls of flour, and three spoonfuls of good cream, sweeten it to your taste, and grate in half a nutmeg, and put in a glass of brandy; beat them all together half an hour, fry them in butter, and garnish them with green sweetmeats, preserved apricots, or green sprigs of myrtle."

Elizabeth Raffald, The Experienced English Housekeeper, For the Use and Ease of Ladies, Housekeepers, Cooks, &c. (1786)

If your pancakes aren't pink, you are no lady. 

How to Catch Flies, ca. 1400

“If you have a room or floor in your dwelling infested with flies, take little sprigs of fern, tie them together with threads like tassels, hang them up, and all the flies will settle on them in the evening. Then take down the tassels and throw them outside… otherwise, tie a linen stocking to the bottom of a pierced pot and set the pot in the place where the flies gather and smear the inside with honey, or apples, or pears. When it is full of flies, place a platter over the opening, then shake it.”  

Le Ménagier de Paris (ca. 1400)

These flycatching remedies are from a handbook ostensibly written by a husband offering helpful advice to his teenaged wife. And, let’s face it: who cares whether they work for catching flies? Ladies, just imagine how impressed a husband would be by your decorative fern-tassels and honey-smeared socks.