How to Prevent Drunkenness, 1612

"A Looking-Glass for Drunkards," 17th c.

"Shew me a way how a man may drinke much wine and yet not be drunke. To drinke great store of wine, and not to be drunke, you must eate of the rosted lungs of a Goat: or otherwise, eate sixe or seaven bitter Almonds fasting: or otherwise, eate raw Coleworts before you drinke, and you shall not become drunk.
How to make them which are drunk sober. You must make them eate Coleworts, and some manner of confections made of brine; or else drink great draughts of vinegar." 

William Vaughan, Approved Directions for Health

Office holiday party preparedness kit: cabbage, pickles, goat lung.

How to Prevent Sunburn, 1665

Hans Adam Weissenkircher, Helios on His Chariot, c. 1685

"To keep the face from Sunburn, you had best wash with water drawn from the whites of eggs, or juice of soure grapes... or take goats suet well washed in cleare water, beat it in a mortar with rose water, strein it through a thick cloth, then take oile of sweet almonds one ounce, sugar candy two drams, camfre half a dram, boile them all together, stirring them continually that they may be white, when it hath boiled a pretty while put it into a glass for your use. If you goe abroad in the Sun or Wind anoint the face with it, and 'twill preserve your complexion." 

Thomas Jeamson, Artificiall Embellishments (1665)

Don't hit the beach this summer without a jar of homemade goat-fat sunblock. Sun protection factor unknown, ick factor 85.

How to Groom Your Eyebrows, 1563

Christoph Amberger, Portrait of a Young Woman

"Take the galle of a hee Gote or of a she Gote, but the hee Goate is better, and doeth it soner, and rubbe youre eye browes, and the heare will shortly fall awaye."

The Second Part of the Secretes of Maister Alexis of Piemont (1563)

Why bother with plucking or waxing when you could have your eyebrows digested by goat enzymes? Just make sure your salon uses the superior he-goat gall.

How to Cause a Rat Stampede, 1872

"The smell of a goat is obnoxious to the nostrils of rats; the two wont be friends and companions on any account whatever, and the introduction of goats to one's barn or premises will cause an immediate stampede of all the rats." 

A. E. Youman, A Dictionary of Everyday Wants (1872)

If you follow this advice, the good news is that you'll get to watch an exciting rat stampede. The bad news is that your premises will be filled with obnoxious-smelling goats.