Showing posts with label snot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snot. Show all posts

Friday, June 21, 2013

How to Impress Girls at a Dance, 1530

Fabritio Caroso, Il Ballarino (1581)
"Furthermore never fart when you are dancing; grit your teeth and compel your arse to hold back the fart... Do not have a dripping nose and do not dribble at the mouth. No woman desires a man with rabies. And refrain from spitting before the maidens, because that makes one sick and even revolts the stomach.  If you spit or blow your nose or sneeze, remember to turn your head away after the spasm; and remember not to wipe your nose with your fingers; do it properly with a white handkerchief. Do not eat either leeks or onions because they leave an unpleasant odour in the mouth."

 Antonius Arena, Leges dansandi (1530)

That Antonius Arena. He really understands the enigmatic desires of womankind not to dance with a leeky, slobbering fart-monster. 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

How to Blow Your Nose, 1616

Francesco Salviati, "Portrait of a Man,"
Metropolitan Museum of Art



"Blowing the nose. We must not blow our nose too lowde, nor open the hand-chercher at all to shewe any nasty filthinesse, nor lay it to the cuppe where another meanes to drinke..."
 Thomas Gainsford (?), The Rich Cabinet (1616)


Among the smart ideas introduced by the renaissance was the recommendation to not smear your snot on anyone else's drinking glass. Best practices, folks!