How to Fatten Up, 1660

Or just wear all your clothes at once.

"A Potion to make the Body fat. Take of the flour of Vetches, Beans, Barley, Rice, each alike parts, flour of Lentils, white Poppy, each half as much; flour of bread corn, Turky-millet, each alike quantity, Sugar twice as much, boyl them in a sufficient quantity of Sheeps milk, of which let him take one cup every morning fasting, sleeping upon it half an hour."

Johann Jacob Wecker, Arts Masterpiece (1660)

It's hard to find a multi-grain porridge that doubles as a plumping potion. This one will have you tipping the scales in no time!

How to Be Plump, 1878

“Whatever may be the proper explanation, the presence of sweets very much aids in the fattening process… Activity of mind or body if excessive prevents fattening. Sufficient rest must be secured. Persons who want to get and keep plump, must give the system time to recruit. They should retire about 10 P. M. and enjoy sleep until 6 or 7 A. M.”

 T. C. Duncan, How to Be Plump (1878)

Physician, medical writer, and paunch-promoter T. C. Duncan scorns the thin as “restless and irritable in mind, rarely contented, never quiet” and offers advice for those aspiring to a fluffier form.