How to Lose Weight, c. 1330

Tacuinum sanitatis, Biblioteca Casanatense 4182 (14th c.)

“They should eat foods of little nourishment, great bulk, and quick digestion, and often bathe before they eat… they should eat many vegetables with sharp vinegar dressings… they should exercise frequently and swiftly before eating, and tolerate hunger. They should accustom themselves to eating once a day and sleeping less, and they should drink old and fine wine…. sleeping little and in a hard bed, frequent sex, and spending time in the sun and in warm houses all make a fat body become slender.” 

Maino de' Mainieri, Regimen sanitatis

Your medieval summer weight-loss plan: sunbathing, sex, and... salad.

How to Use Asparagus, 1568

John Gerard, The Herball (1636)

"Asparagus cooked with wine alleviates pain of the loins and kidneys, provokes urine, loosens the stomach, and frees the liver and kidneys from attacks, especially the roots and seeds. But if asparagus is used too much, it brings great harm, since it expels urine quickly, and irritates the bladder, which is bad. It is believed to incite lust… asparagus is a helpful food for a man, especially a newlywed having trouble in bed with an eager spouse: if at first he is unable to please his wife, this will allow him finally to have a sweet and loving partnership." 

Hugo Fridaevallis, De tuenda sanitate 

Ah, springtime, the season of love: the birds, the bees, the newlyweds gobbling asparagus...

How to Prevent Pregnancy, c. 1260

British Library Sloane MS 75, f. 87r

"A weasel placed on a scorpion bite helps greatly... if its heel is taken from it while it still lives and is placed on a woman, she will not get pregnant as long as it is there." 

Albertus Magnus, De animalibus

As if you needed another reason to keep a live weasel in your bedroom.