How to Eat in Autumn, 1600

Later, old cheese.
The Grete Herball (1529), Wellcome Library

"Autumne beginneth, when the sunne entreth the first degree of Libra, which is the thirteenth day of September. Then it is Aequinoctiall, meteors are seene, the times do alter, the aire waxeth cold, the leaves do fall, corne is reaped, the earth loseth hir beautie, and melancholy is ingendered. For which cause, such things as breede melancholy are to bee avoyded, as feare, care, beanes, old cheese, salt beefe, broath of colewoorts, & such like. You may safely eate mutton, lambe, pigges, and young pullets. Take heed of the morning & evening cold." 

William Vaughan, Naturall and Artificial Directions for Health 

The key to a happy autumn? Just avoid fear and cabbage broth.

How to Mouse-Proof Your Cheese, 1649

Edward Topsell, The History of Four-Footed Beasts (1658)

"How to make a Receit, that neither Rat nor Mouse shall eat or gnaw of your Cheese. The Weasel, the Rat, and Mouse, are at such deadly hatred one with the other, as that, if you put the brain of a Weasel into the Rennets or Curds whereof you intend to make your Cheese, neither Rats nor Mice will ever come to taste or eat thereof."  

Thomas Hill, Naturall and Artificiall Conclusions (1649)

With this clever recipe, your cheese will finally be safe from the gnawing of vermin. Wait until after the cheese course, though, to tell your dinner guests the secret of your wondrous weasel cheese.

How to Make Cheese Glue, c. 1300

Tacuinum sanitatis, ÖNB Cod. Vindob. s. n. 2644, f. 30r (14th c.) 

"Take old cheese, and cut it into little pieces, then put them in water for two full days or more. Then grind them well on a marble stone. Then add to them almost as much good quicklime, and grind them well together, and it is the best glue; use it immediately while it is moist. This glue joins wood very well and when it is dry it is dissolved by neither fire nor water." 

Secretum philosophorum (c. 1300)

State-of-the-art adhesive technology circa 1300! Behold its excellence, its durability, its beguiling cheesy aroma.

How to Make a Cheesy Omelet, c. 1400

Tacuinum sanitatis Casanatense

"First, heat the pan thoroughly with oil, butter, or another grease as you wish, and when it is good and hot all over, especially toward the handle, mix and pour your eggs into the pan and turn them often with a spatula, then sprinkle on some good grated cheese. Know that it needs to be put on top, because if you grind the cheese with the herbs and eggs, when you fry the omelet, the cheese on the bottom would stick to the pan. That is what happens when you mix the eggs with the cheese for an omelet. For this reason, first put the eggs in the pan, and put the cheese on top, and then cover with the edge of the eggs; otherwise it will stick to the pan."  

Le ménagier de Paris (c. 1400)

If we don't pay attention to the past, we are doomed to repeat its mistakes. So let's break the cycle and put the eggs in the pan before the cheese.

How to Pack for a Journey, 1480

Martellus world map, c. 1490

"[A traveler] should carry with him two bags: one very full of patience, the other containing two hundred Venetian ducats, or at least one hundred and fifty... furthermore, he should provision himself with good Lombard cheese, sausages, tongue, and other cured meats of every sort; white biscuits, some cakes of sugar, and various confections, but not a great quantity because they spoil quickly. Above all he should take plenty of fruit syrup, because that is what keeps a man alive in extreme heat; and also ginger syrup to settle his stomach if it is upset by too much vomiting." 

Santo Brasca, Viaggio in Terrasanta (1480)

Airport security may take your fruit syrups, and customs may confiscate your cured meats, but no one can take away your suitcase full of patience.