How to Grow Facial Hair, 1658

"Amongst those things that will make ones beard grow, and are easy to be had, I reckon Honey, fresh Butter without Salt, the juyce of a red Onion... Badgers grease, called Das, Bears, Lions, Grease, Bryony-roots, Beets, Radish, Pepperwort, white Lilies, Flour-de-luce: a liniment may be made of these, for the chin wet with these, first brings forth a tender down, after that a thick and long beard, which that it may not grow white too soon, must be watered rather with cold water that hath a little wine mingled with it, if we desire to adorn it." 

Levinus Lemnius, The Touchstone of Complexions

The path to bearded bliss is long, tortuous, and kind of smelly. Much like the beard itself.

How to Improve Your Memory, 1563

Edward Topsell, The History of Four-Footed Beasts, 1607

"To make one have a good memorie. Take a Tooth or the lefte legge of a Badgre... and binde it aboute youre riggt arme nexte unto the flesh. Take also the gall of a Partrich, and rubbe your temples with it that it maie soke into the skin and fleshe, ones in a moneth, and it will make you have a good memorie." 

The Second Part of the Secretes of Maister Alexis of Piemont (1563)

This is a bit of a Faustian bargain, isn't it? Your improved memory comes at the cost of having to adorn yourself with badger parts and partridge goo. Well, at least others will definitely remember you.