Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romance. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

How to Maintain Facial Hair, 1609


John Bulwer, Anthropometamorphosis (1650)
"It is most true that a man is to be commended, if he be cleanly... his haire well dressed, his beard well brushed, and alwayes his vpper lip well curled... as if every haire would threaten to pull out his eyes, for if he chance to kisse a Gentlewoman, some rebellious haire may happen to startle in her nose, and make her sneese, so by this meanes, he applies both physick & courtesie at one time, then he may freely say, God blesse you Lady, receaving back the chirping Eccho of I thenk you sir."

Simion Grahame, The Anatomie of Humors 

Want to improve your kissing technique? With a properly curled mustache, your next kiss will really be explosive.

Friday, February 14, 2014

How to Sweet Talk Your Lady, 1656


"Instructions for Lovers: teaching them, how to demean themselves towards their Sweet-hearts. You must not accost them with a shrug, as if you were lowsie: With, 'your Ladie', 'best Ladie', or 'most super-excellent Ladie': neither must you let your words come rumbling forth, ushered in with a good full mouth'd, Oath, as 'I love you'... But you must in fine gentle words, deliver your true affection: Praise your Mistress Eies, her Lip, her Chin, her Nose, her Neck, her Face, her Hand, her Feet, her Leg, her Waste, her every thing." 
Cupids Master-piece, or, The Free-school of Witty and Delightful Compliments (1656)
Some dos and don'ts for addressing your most super-excellent lady! Don't say "I love you." Do praise her various body parts. (Careful with that 17th-century spelling, though: it's her waist you want to praise.)

See here for more amorous compliments.

Monday, December 2, 2013

How to Invite a Man Home, 1642

Nikolaus Knüpfer, Portrait d'un Couple
According to Cupids Schoole: Wherein Yong Men and Mayds May Learne Diverse Sorts of New, Witty, Amorous Complements (1642), here's what to say if you want to invite a gentleman home with you: 
“To invite one home. Sir, I have often desired your company at home, but yet could never be so happy to obtaine it. But now you shall not deny to grace my poor house with your presence, since we are hard by it, and to honour me so much as to let the star of your vertue shine within the sphear of my house: for I dare promise though entertainement be not worthy your invitation, yet you shall be as welcome as a friend can be to a friend.” 
This is a great line -- provided that your special man is well versed in seventeenth-century euphemism.