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| John Bulwer, Anthropometamorphosis |
Take a bean, and having chewed it well, spit it on a cloth, then rub your face with this, and you will make the face beautiful and glowing, and the skin soft.
Isabella Cortese, I segreti de la signora Isabella Cortese
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| BL Harley 4425, f. 114r |
For treating the wrinkles of old women, take a stinking iris, and extract the juice, and smear the face with that juice in the evening, and in the morning the skin will be raised, and it will crack. We treat the eruption with the aforementioned ointment which contains lily root, and by peeling off the skin, after it has been washed, it will appear very fine.
The TrotulaWho needs Botox and chemical peels when you've got stinking iris?
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| The Gentlewomans Companion, 1682 |
"An Ointment that takes away all Bunchings and Speckles of the Face. Take of the roots of Ass-cowcumber, white Been, Bryony, Lupines, each half an ounce, Cerusse, Litharge, Tartar, each one dram; Cane-roots, Serapine, Pigeons dung, each two scruples, Oyl of Turky-millet three ounces, Oyl of Juniper, Oyl of Bread-corn, each two ounces and a half; Juice of Orenges four ounces, pouder what is to be pouder'd, and fine searse them, then boyl them all till the Juice is consumed, then take them from the fire, alwayes stirring them with a spattle till they are cold, then add the white of one new laid Egg beaten and streined; Camphure pouder'd one dram, always mixing them, then wash it in one pint of water, prest from yong Canes, washing it ten times in that water, and stirring it with a spattle, and it is excellent."
Johann Jacob Wecker, CosmeticksLook, beauty has a price, and sometimes that price is collecting pigeon droppings and digging the roots of the ass-cowcumber.
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| Tacuinum sanitatis (14th c., Biblioteca Casanatense) |
One who has very ugly nails should smear them with liquid from the little bladder of the bumblebee and tie it with a band. He should do this until they become beautiful.
Hildegard of Bingen, PhysicaBetter make sure your beautician is also trained in entomology.
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| That Unicornu fossile is definitely legit. Michael Bernhard Valentini, Museum museorum (1714), George Peabody Library. |
"The horne of an Vnicorne being beaten and boyled in wine, hath a wonderful effect in making the teeth white or cleare, the mouth being well clensed therewith."
Edward Topsell, The Historie of Foure-Footed Beastes (1607)Wine and unicorns really do make everything better, don't they?
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| Konstantin Makovsky, Portrait of a Woman (c. 1870) |
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| Artemisia Gentileschi, Susanna and the Elders (1610) |
"So that we may recognize made-up faces, do thus. Chew a bit of saffron in your teeth, and bring your mouth close to her face while speaking, so that your breath will cause the makeup to lose color, and make it yellowish, but if she is not wearing makeup, there will be no harm."
Pompeo Sarnelli, Della magia naturale (1677)After you have executed this clever maneuver, you'll want to return to your library in search of advice regarding "what to do when your lady friend asks why you are creeping around breathing on her face and dear God what is that yellow stuff on your mouth."
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| Mary Magdalene 14th century, Les Enluminures |
"After leaving the bath, let her adorn her hair, and first of all let her wash it with a cleanser such as this. Take ashes of burnt vine, the chaff of barley nodes, and licorice wood (so that it may the more brightly shine), and sowbread... with this cleanser let the woman wash her head. After the washing, let her leave it to dry by itself, and her hair will be golden and shimmering... If the woman wishes to have long and black hair, take a green lizard and, having removed its head and tail, cook it in common oil. Anoint the head with this oil. It makes the hair long and black."
The Trotula (12th century)
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| Tacuinum sanitatis Casanatense |
