Friday, January 22, 2016

How to Plan for Snow, 1600

British Library, Add. MS 35313, f. 1v (c. 1500)
"Now the daies are shortened, & the nights prolonged, winds are sharp, snow and suddaine inundations of waters arise, the earth is congealed with frost and ice, & all liuing creatures do quiuer with cold. Therefore a man must vse warme and drie meates: for the cheerefull vertues of the bodie are now weakened by the cold aire, and the naturall heate is driuen into the inward partes of the bodie, to comfort and maintaine the vitall spirites. All rost, baked, or fried meates be good; and so are boyled beefe and porke. Veale agreeth not, except it be well rosted. Also wardens, apples and peares may be vsed with wine or with salt for swelling, or with comfits for windinesse. Beware least the cold annoy your bodie. And aboue all things haue a regard to keepe your head, neck, and feete warm. To vse carnall copulation is expedient." 
William Vaughan, Naturall and Artificial Directions for Health
Snow day action plan: fried meat and chill. (But for the love of God, keep your socks on.)

10 comments:

  1. What are/were "wardens"? Fruit? Vegetable?

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    1. Turns out they are a kind of large, hard pear.

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  2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warden_pear

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  3. And based on that last encouragement we know why more babies are born in the fall.

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    1. Nay, most babies are born in late winter, nine months after springtime turns a man's fancy to thoughts of love.

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  4. Expedient carnal copulation isn't much fun for women. Sigh. Won't somebody think of our needs?

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    1. it means, since you are stuck inside anyway, grab your bed buddy/lover/spouse... get warm under the covers (share body heat) and let nature take it's course. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/expedient

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    2. not sure how that is any worse for women than men??

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. I like the cut of this guy's jib better than the one who recommended keeping one's "encounters in bed" moderate during the winter.

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