How to Disclose Your Relationship Status, 1890

 "If a gentleman wants a wife, he wears a ring on the first finger of the left hand; if he is engaged, he wears it on the second finger; if married on the third; and on the fourth if he never intends to be married. When a lady is not engaged, she wears a hoop or diamond on her first finger; if engaged, on the second; if married, on the third; and on the fourth if she intends to die unmarried."

The Mystery of Love, Courtship, and Marriage Explained

And a diamond thumb ring is universal language for "it's complicated."

How to Grow Facial Hair, 1658

"Amongst those things that will make ones beard grow, and are easy to be had, I reckon Honey, fresh Butter without Salt, the juyce of a red Onion... Badgers grease, called Das, Bears, Lions, Grease, Bryony-roots, Beets, Radish, Pepperwort, white Lilies, Flour-de-luce: a liniment may be made of these, for the chin wet with these, first brings forth a tender down, after that a thick and long beard, which that it may not grow white too soon, must be watered rather with cold water that hath a little wine mingled with it, if we desire to adorn it." 

Levinus Lemnius, The Touchstone of Complexions

The path to bearded bliss is long, tortuous, and kind of smelly. Much like the beard itself.