How to Make Men Rave, 1658

"How to make men mad with Mandrake... Take the Roots of Mandrake, and but put them into new Wine, boyling and bubling up: cover it close; and let them infuse in a warm place for two months. When you would use it, give it to somebody to drink; and whosoever shall taste it after a deep sleep, will be distracted, and for a day shall rave: but after some sleep, will return to his senses again, without any harm: and it is very pleasant to behold. Pray make trial."

Natural Magick by John Baptista Porta (1658)

Early modern rave: just like the 1990s, but with more lute music.

How to Cure a Headache, 9th century

Ninth-century headache?
St. Gall 904 (ca. 850)

"Headaches you will enchant: take some earth, touch your breast three times and say: My head hurts, why does it hurt? It does not hurt." 

Pseudo-Pliny (9th century)

Good old denial: it's better than ibuprofen.

How to Wear a Waistcoat, 1860

"What a handsome waistcoat you have on!"
Gazette of Fashion, 1872

"Dear Past, How should a man wear a waistcoat?" 

"A gentleman should always be so well dressed that his dress shall never be observed at all. Does this sound like an enigma? It is not meant for one. It only implies that perfect simplicity is perfect elegance, and that the true test of taste in the toilette of a gentleman is its entire harmony, unobtrusiveness and becomingness. If any friend should say to you, 'What a handsome waistcoat you have on!' you may depend that a less handsome waistcoat would be in better taste."

Mixing in Society (1860)

This is a good method for taste-testing your toilette. And also for ridiculing the garish waistcoats of your acquaintances.

How to Make a Rain of Fireworks, 1658

"To make the golden Rain, you must get store of Goose-quills, and cut them off next the feathers, and fill these quills hard with the same composition that is in your rocket, and must be put on the head of the Rocket with the open end downwards: If it were possible to put a thousand of these quills upon the head of a Rocket, it were a dainty sight to see how pleasantly they spread themselves in the air, and come down like streams of gold much like the falling down of Snow, especially if the wind be any thing high."

John White, "The School of Artificial Fire-Works," A Rich Cabinet (1658)

Fourth of July to-do list: grill hamburgers, make potato salad, obtain and manicure a thousand goose quills for dainty fireworks display.

How to Interpret Dreams, c. 1100

BL Harley 4867, f. 74v

"A dream of hot waters bubbling up: this is bad.
Falling from a horse: consider this to be great disaster.
If you are sitting in feces, you will experience all manner of harm.
Beautifying your head is a good sign.
Embracing your mother is a very good dream.
Vomiting in one's dream causes loss, my friend.
Eating hard-shelled seafood signifies illness.
Wine of the best vintage: expect joy."

Oneirocriticon of Germanus (c. 900-1300), excerpts

Sitting in feces is unlucky in waking life too, my friend.

How to Exercise, 1623

The racket, c. 1610

"[W]hen the skinne shall be wet with sweat, it shall be good to desist from exercise, lest by proceeding therein, not onely the spirits and good humours be exhausted, but also the fat... bee melted, or at least caused to putrifie; by meanes whereof, if sudden death ensue not, as oftentimes it doth... the body become sickly, withered, and impatient of cold... Here therefore it is to be advertised, how great and laborious exercises doe evilly dispose the body, and subvert the state thereof, and that the best and most profitable exercises, for them that are sound and healthfull, are walking, bowling, the racket, and such like easie exercises." 

Tobias Venner, Vita recta ad vitam longam (1623)

For the love of God, don't use the elliptical machine. Does putrefied fat sound like a joke?

How to Pack for Camping, 1877

"Lay out the blanket flat, and roll it as tightly as possible without folding it, enclosing the other baggage as you roll; then tie it in a number of places to prevent unrolling, and the shifting about of things inside; and finally tie or strap together the two ends, and throw the ring thus made over the shoulder, and wear it as you do the strap of the haversack,-- diagonally across the body... you will probably prefer the roll to the knapsack." 

John Mead Gould, Hints for Camping and Walking (1877)

This also works well if you are trying to transport a python on your camping expedition.