How to Make an Ice Velocipede, 1869

"The machine is intended to be used on ice or frozen snow. The driving-wheel is armed with sharp points to prevent the possibility of slipping... The hind wheel is replaced by a pair of gigantic skates or runners, similar to those used in sleighs or ice-boats."  

Velocipedes, Bicycles and Tricycles: How to Make and How to Use Them (1869)

Looking for a new winter recreation? Try an ice velocipede. Part sleigh and part torture device, it will get you where you're going, assuming that where you're going is the bottom of an icy lake.

The Past Asks You: Apple Economics, 1698

Johann Hermann Knoop, Pomologia (1758)

It's time for another puzzle from the past:

"A man sent his three Sons to Market, to his Eldest he gave twenty two Apples: To the second sixteen: and to the third ten Apples, and bid them sell all at a price, and bring all Money alike." 

T. T. A Rich Treasure (1698)

To review: each son has to sell all his apples. No son can set a higher price than his brothers. And each of them has to bring home the same amount of money as the others. How will the clever trio accommodate the economically incoherent demands of their father?

If you think you have what it takes to be a 17th-century apprentice fruit vendor, post your answer in the comments. I'll add the 1698 solution tomorrow.

How to Cure Nausea, 1693

John Gerard, Herball (1597)

"A speedy Remedy for Fits of Vomiting. Take a large Nutmeg, grate off one half of it, and toast the flat side of the other, till the Oily part begin to ouze or sweat out, then clap it to the Pit of the Patient's Stomach as hot as he can well endure it, and let him keep it on whilst it continues warm, and then if need be put on another."  

Robert Boyle, Medicinal Experiments (1693) 

If you're lucky, the patient will be so surprised by the sizzling, oily nutmeg on his abdomen that he will forget all about his nausea.

(Wondering what to do with the other half of the nutmeg? Pink pancakes!)

How to Make Instant Coffee, 1883

That's the caffeine talking.
Currier & Ives, 1881

"Procure one-half pound of the choicest roasted coffee berries you can command, let the same be ground under your own immediate eye, to prevent the opportunity of chicory or any other spurious drug being introduced among the genuine material. Submit the coffee to a clean saucepan, containing one quart of boiling water, stir it round twice or thrice with a suitably-sized spoon, adding, at the same time, two pieces of fresh white ginger. Place the saucepan over a slow fire, and let it simmer until the quantity of liquor is reduced to one pint; then strain the latter off into a smaller saucepan, and allow the liquor to simmer gently, adding to it at intervals as much white sugar as will qualify the character of a thick consistent syrup, when it may be taken up, and when thoroughly cold poured into jars or bottles, stopped closely down for use. It will keep for any length of time in any climate. An individual, possessing the above confection, may command a cup of strong, genuine coffee at a minute's notice; it is necessary only to introduce two or three teaspoonfuls of the essence into a coffeecup, and fill with boiling water." 

S. Annie Frost, Our New Cook Book (1883)

Handcrafted, slow-cooked instant coffee can be yours! Just make sure that unscrupulous coffee grinders don't slip any spurious drugs into your beans. That can make for a rough morning.

How to Make Glow-in-the-Dark Ink, 1661

Doing some low-light writing? Grab a fig.
Samuel van Hoogstraten, Self Portrait (1647-9)

"Letters that are not to be read but in the night, must be written with the Gall of a Tortois, or Fig milk, if you put it to dry at the fire, or else [with] Water of Glow-Wormes."

Johann Jacob Wecker, Eighteen Books of the Secrets of Art & Nature (1661)

If I may offer a recommendation: opt for the fig milk. The tortoise dissection might be a little messy on your writing desk.

How to Make a Watermelon Cake, 1896

Watermelon (c. 1855)

         "1/2 cup butter.
          1 cup sugar.
          1/2 cup sweet milk.
          3 whites of eggs.
          2 cups flour.
          1 teaspoon cream tartar.
          1/2 teaspoon soda.
          Flavor with lemon.


Take a little more than 1/3 of the mixture and to it add 1 teaspoon liquid cochineal and 1/2 cup raisins. Put the red part in the center and bake. Cover with a frosting colored green with spinach."

Smiley's Cook Book (1896)

This is perfect for a child's birthday party. The kids will be so busy picking out the raisins they won't notice the cake is made of spinach goo and liquified insects.

How to Converse, 1651

"Neither shake thy head, feet, or legges; Rowle not thine eyes. Lift not one of thine eye-browes higher than thine other. Wry not thy mouth. Take heed that with thy spettle thou bedew not his face with whom thou speakest, and to that end approach not too nigh him." 

Francis Hawkins, Youths Behaviour (1651)

The close-talker: terrorizing conversation partners since the seventeenth century.