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| Tacuinum sanitatis (14th c., Biblioteca Casanatense) |
One who has very ugly nails should smear them with liquid from the little bladder of the bumblebee and tie it with a band. He should do this until they become beautiful.
Hildegard of Bingen, PhysicaBetter make sure your beautician is also trained in entomology.
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| The Graphic (1874), The British Library |
“It is all very well to send Christmas Cards as cheap and handy presents to each and all of one’s friends, but how much better, and more acceptable they become, when accompanied by some useful article! The hint we would give, and which we trust will be acted upon to the full, is to spend shillings where one intended pence, and pounds where one meant to spend shillings… For this purpose, what could be more acceptable than family boxes of mixed Toilet Soaps… Our word for it that a box of toilet soaps, or scents… would be equally as, or more acceptable than even the conventional hampers of game or barrels of oysters.”
The Reliquary and Illustrated Archaeologist (1879)Need a special gift for a special guy? Play it safe with a silver mucilage pot, or go bold with a monkey-skin hymnal.
"Silver seals, silver mucilage pots, silver pen-racks, silver penholders, silver pen-tweezers, small silver stamp-boxes for the waistcoat pocket, are among the many little things much more reasonable... The fad for silver is universal... A very useful Christmas present is a hymnal, or hymnal and prayer-book, bound in black monkey-skin, with silver monogram or gilt initials (the latter stamped inside the cover), of size for the waistcoat pocket. These would cost – marking and all – $10. Elephant-skin is not as handsome as monkey, and the snake-skin is beautiful to look at, but most perishable."
Harper's Bazaar (1896)Ah, the lady who has everything. I promise she does not have a complete winter ensemble of rat fur.
"What more delightful or dignified present can any lord make his lady than presenting her with a complete suit of ermine, comprising muff, cuffs, cape, tippet, boa, and cloak... How comes it, then, that polecats' and stoats' skins are held so inestimable, while the poor humble rat's skin is held in detestation, when in texture and softness it is quite equal, if not superior, to either?... I am satisfied there is no one thing can equal them for ladies' gloves, where delicacy and softness are the ideal requisites to form the beau-ideal of perfection.
James Rodwell, The Rat: Its History and Destructive Character (1858)Shopping for children? The Saucy Milk-Maid has what you need.
“The mechanical toys imported from Paris are the finest ever brought to this country… The Saucy Milk-Maid is propelled rapidly about the room, shaking her head and patting her cow, while the cow munches oats and lows contentedly. The Drunken Muleteer applies the bottle to his mouth with one hand, and holds on to the mule with the other."
Harper's Bazaar (1877)If you're on a budget, just get creative with a Revolutionary War era brocade gown.
"If any woman owns remnants of the old-fashioned brocade gown worn by her great-great-grandmother in Revolutionary days she is fortunate indeed, for she has it in her power to bestow Christmas presents which will be valued by every member of the family connection. Pin-cushions, pen-wipers, work-bags, sachets, sofa pillows – all these articles, in every variety of shape and size, afford an opportunity to use the brocade, or, if the pieces are large enough, handkerchief and glove cases may be added to the list."
Harper's Bazaar (1893)And of course, everyone on your list will appreciate a copy of Ask the Past.
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| J. Paul Getty Museum, MS Ludwig IX 6, f. 2r |
"If you will, walk daily somewhere morning and evening. And if the weather is cold, if you can, run on [an] empty stomach or at least walk rapidly, that the natural heat may be revived... If you cannot go outside your lodgings, either because the weather does not permit or it is raining, climb the stairs rapidly three or four times, and have in your room a big heavy stick like a sword and wield it now with one hand, now with the other, as in a scrimmage, until you are almost winded. This is a splendid exercise to warm one up and expel noxious vapors through the pores and consume other superfluities. Jumping is a similar exercise. Singing, too, exercises the chest. And if you will do this, you will have healthy limbs, a sound intellect and memory, and you will avoid rheum."
Peter of Fagarola, Letter to his sonsToo cold for running outside? No problem – your mock swordplay and singing will definitely impress the other gym-goers.
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| "The Poultry of the World," 1858, a.k.a. dinner |
"Take a fine large olive, stuffed with capers and anchovies, and preserved in the best oil, and put it into a fig pecker; after cutting off its head and legs, put the fig pecker into the body of a fine fat ortolan; put the ortolan, into the body of a sky-lark. Besides cutting off the head and legs, take away all the principal bones, and wrap it in a thick fillet of bacon; put the skylark, thus prepared, into a thrush, trimmed and arranged in a similar way; put the thrush into a fine plump quail; put the quail, without bacon, but wrapped in a vine leaf, into a lapwing, and the lapwing well trussed and covered with thin bacon, into a fine golden plover; put the plover, also rolled up in bacon, into a fine young partridge; put the partridge into a good succulent woodcock, and after surrounding the latter with very thin crusts of bread, put it into a teal; put the teal, well trussed and covered with bacon, into a Guinea-hen, and the Guinea-hen, also surrounded with bacon, into a fine young wild duck, in preference to a tame one; put the duck into a fine plump fowl, and the fowl into a fine large red pheasant; be sure it is very high flavoured; put the pheasant into a fine fat wild goose; put the wild goose into a Guinea-fowl; put the Guinea-fowl into a very fine bustard, and if it should not fit it, fill up the cavities with chesnuts, sausage-meat, and stuffing excellently made. Put these ingredients, thus prepared, into a vessel, hermetically sealed, and closed round with paste; and add onions, stuck with cloves, carrots, small bits of ham, celery, herbs, ground pepper, slices of bacon well seasoned, salt, spices, coriander, and a bit or two of garlic. Let it simmer for twenty-four hours over a slow fire, so arranged as to reach every part alike. Perhaps, an oven might be better."
Robert Reynolds, The Professed Cook (trans. from Almanach des Gourmands, 1809)This monstrosity did, in fact, eat a turducken for breakfast. Bon appétit!
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| Currier & Ives, 1881 (Library of Congress) |
"COFFEE THAT IS GOOD. To make good coffee is apparently not so simple as it may seem, if general results count for anything... There is no better stimulant in the morning than a delicious cup of coffee, and there is no better way of preparing it than according to the following recipe: Do not buy the coffee already ground, for it loses its fine flavor more rapidly when in the ground form than when whole. Have a small coffee mill and grind it yourself. A mixture of two or more kinds of coffee will give the most satisfactory result. Two thirds Java, with one third Mocha, will make a rich, smooth coffee. Now for the recipe: Put one cupful of roasted coffee into a small fryingpan, and stir it over the fire until hot, being careful not to burn it. Grind the coffee rather coarse and put it in a common coffeepot. Beat one egg well, and add three tablespoonfuls of cold water to it. Stir this mixture into the coffee. Pour one quart of boiling water on the coffee, and place the pot on the fire. Stir the coffee until it boils, being careful not to let it boil over; then place on the back of the stove, where it will just bubble, for ten minutes... After it has stood for five minutes, strain it into a hot coffeepot, and send to the table at once."
C. F. Lawlor, The MixicologistBreakfast shortcut: just stir the egg into the coffee!
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| Konrad Gesner, Historiae animalium (1604) |
Platina, De honesta voluptate et valetudine
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| British Library, Egerton MS 747, f. 83r c. 1280-1310 |
