Friday, August 2, 2013

How to Give Someone Gas, 1661

Papal belvedere (Cranach, 1545) 
"A light to make one Fart. The Operation of this Lamp is wonderfull, which so long as a man holds it, he shall not leave Farting untill he let it go: Take the blood of a Snaile and dry it in Linnen Cloath, and make a Candle with it, and light it, and give it to whom he please, and say, be thou lighted: so shall he not leave Farting till he let it go, which is wonderfull."  
Johann Jacob Wecker, Eighteen Books of the Secrets of Art & Nature (1661)
Just imagine how much better your life will be when you swap your regular candles for these. Power outages, birthday parties, and romantic dinners will be so wonderful. 



2 comments:

  1. Works great, but squeezing the blood from the snails was time consuming, gonna try a juice extractor next time

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    1. Make extra snail goo and you can market it as seventeenth-century-approved face cream!

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